"I heard that movie sucked"
"I don't like that song"
"Golf is so boring"
I think we've all heard comments such as these before. Sometimes when we hear these remarks, it might change how we feel about a certain thing. We're all entitled to our own opinions. But I believe it's important for me to not let another person's judgment affect my perception.
A few days ago, my friend Johnny said the first comment to me. He was responding to the fact that I had rented The Bucket List from Netflix. Having not even placed the movie into my DVD player yet, I knew I would already own a bias towards it. And that annoyed me.
I watched the movie the next day. Some people might have disliked it, but I surely didn't. What we enjoy is tied to our past individual experiences. Having spent a considerable amount of time in a hospital (like the main characters of the movie), I was able to make a connection that perhaps many others would not be able to. When you're laying on a hospital bed, much of your thoughts are what you will do if and when you are once again free from the confinements of convalescence. I found that many of the situations presented in the film parallel those which I have gone through.
Note to self: Go into things with an open mind.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Breaking Free
I've tried many times to post something on this here blog, but all the drafts have been left unfinished. Not this one though. I'm determined to complete it and hit publish.
Not everyone knows this because I didn't share it with too many people, but for much of the summer I suffered from a quite painful ailment, which precluded me from doing many things. The pain was excruciating. It would happen four to six times a day and I could do nothing but let out moans and squeeze someone or something with my hand until the pain subsided. Pain was one thing, but the worst of it was the fear of the pain. Living in constant fear of the return of when the pain would return was absolutely debilitating. Many times I would wake up from the pain and scream and clutch something until it went away, then be unable to sleep again. Of all the things I have experienced in my life, those weeks caused me the most fear ever. I stayed in my house for weeks, praying for the pain to never return again.
Spending months at home caused me to do much thinking. Thinking about the past. Thinking about the present. Thinking about the future. When the pain finally looked like it was gone for good, the relief I felt was immeasurable. It was as if I was breaking free from the physical and psychological prison that held me captive for what seemed like an eternity. The ups and downs of the last few years and the last few months have changed me forever. I feel like I once again have a renewed passion for life.
In the spirit of that passion, I've been traveling.
I visited my sister and brother-in-law in Washington. The Great Northwest is definitely a majestic place with trees everywhere. We did the touristy things like visiting the space needle, the first Starbucks, and the Public Market where the fish store workers throw fish. My favorite part though was hiking through the forests. We saw many waterfalls. At one point I said to Ate, "I can't believe that just a month ago I was lying in bed, suffering from the worst pain of my life, and now I'm standing in front of one of the highest waterfalls in the world." I definitely felt free in Washington. I could live there."
I also went to the San Jose area for my roommate Justin's wedding. A lot of fun. Hanging out with my dorm friends is always pretty crazy. They are a hilarious group. It got me truly excited for the three weddings of other friends coming up in the next year. I can't believe how fast life is going now.
After San Jose I went to the Bay Area and spent some time there. Also tons of fun. Thanks to Em, Vaughn, and Camizzle for housing me. A grand tour of Union City. Karaoke night at The Mint. Berkeley roaming. Bear's Lair revisited. All good times.
Planning for future trips is also in the works. Another trip to the Bay for a cousin's wedding. A few snow trips to break in my board and gear. A trip to the Philippines. Hopefully three or four Disneyland visits. And to end, here's the Disney song that inspired the title of this post. I will continue to be inspired, and I hope you will be too.
Not everyone knows this because I didn't share it with too many people, but for much of the summer I suffered from a quite painful ailment, which precluded me from doing many things. The pain was excruciating. It would happen four to six times a day and I could do nothing but let out moans and squeeze someone or something with my hand until the pain subsided. Pain was one thing, but the worst of it was the fear of the pain. Living in constant fear of the return of when the pain would return was absolutely debilitating. Many times I would wake up from the pain and scream and clutch something until it went away, then be unable to sleep again. Of all the things I have experienced in my life, those weeks caused me the most fear ever. I stayed in my house for weeks, praying for the pain to never return again.
Spending months at home caused me to do much thinking. Thinking about the past. Thinking about the present. Thinking about the future. When the pain finally looked like it was gone for good, the relief I felt was immeasurable. It was as if I was breaking free from the physical and psychological prison that held me captive for what seemed like an eternity. The ups and downs of the last few years and the last few months have changed me forever. I feel like I once again have a renewed passion for life.
In the spirit of that passion, I've been traveling.
I visited my sister and brother-in-law in Washington. The Great Northwest is definitely a majestic place with trees everywhere. We did the touristy things like visiting the space needle, the first Starbucks, and the Public Market where the fish store workers throw fish. My favorite part though was hiking through the forests. We saw many waterfalls. At one point I said to Ate, "I can't believe that just a month ago I was lying in bed, suffering from the worst pain of my life, and now I'm standing in front of one of the highest waterfalls in the world." I definitely felt free in Washington. I could live there."
I also went to the San Jose area for my roommate Justin's wedding. A lot of fun. Hanging out with my dorm friends is always pretty crazy. They are a hilarious group. It got me truly excited for the three weddings of other friends coming up in the next year. I can't believe how fast life is going now.
After San Jose I went to the Bay Area and spent some time there. Also tons of fun. Thanks to Em, Vaughn, and Camizzle for housing me. A grand tour of Union City. Karaoke night at The Mint. Berkeley roaming. Bear's Lair revisited. All good times.
Planning for future trips is also in the works. Another trip to the Bay for a cousin's wedding. A few snow trips to break in my board and gear. A trip to the Philippines. Hopefully three or four Disneyland visits. And to end, here's the Disney song that inspired the title of this post. I will continue to be inspired, and I hope you will be too.
Friday, June 5, 2009
When the Stars Align
We are all headed on different pathways. Some are working. Some of us are going to school. Some of us us are single. Some of us are in relationships. Some of us are engaged, or are already married. Some of us live with family. Some of us live with friends. Some of us live alone.
Despite our diverging paths, we are sometimes able to reconnect. These are times in which I cherish. I spend many days home alone, with my parents leaving for work before I wake and getting home when my day is winding down. This means that there are days in which I have no human interaction at all. This is why times in which I can reconnect with people I care about are so important. It's a time for me to relax and smile. I dread the time coming to an end, and I look forward to when we can reconnect once more.
I'm lucky that the past few weeks I was able to spend meaningful time with great people, both during my Bay Area visit and here at home. It was the reconnection and release that I needed. I am so thankful for those times. I am more than happy with the my time spent, for the most part.
However, there were a few instances that almost ruined those experiences. Because of residual tension and awkwardness, getting together with different people or groups I wanted to get together with was complicated. It caused some to act stubborn and even childish. This really frustrated me and stressed me out. When the stars align and I can meet up with those I care about, I don't care what I do or where I go, as long as I am able to reconnect with those people. I hope others feel the same about reconnecting.
Please, let's try to leave the past in the past so that we can be a part of each other's future.
Despite our diverging paths, we are sometimes able to reconnect. These are times in which I cherish. I spend many days home alone, with my parents leaving for work before I wake and getting home when my day is winding down. This means that there are days in which I have no human interaction at all. This is why times in which I can reconnect with people I care about are so important. It's a time for me to relax and smile. I dread the time coming to an end, and I look forward to when we can reconnect once more.
I'm lucky that the past few weeks I was able to spend meaningful time with great people, both during my Bay Area visit and here at home. It was the reconnection and release that I needed. I am so thankful for those times. I am more than happy with the my time spent, for the most part.
However, there were a few instances that almost ruined those experiences. Because of residual tension and awkwardness, getting together with different people or groups I wanted to get together with was complicated. It caused some to act stubborn and even childish. This really frustrated me and stressed me out. When the stars align and I can meet up with those I care about, I don't care what I do or where I go, as long as I am able to reconnect with those people. I hope others feel the same about reconnecting.
Please, let's try to leave the past in the past so that we can be a part of each other's future.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Adding on to the Baseball Rant
The Dodgers have lost 4 out of 5 without Manny Ramirez. Their NL West lead has been cut in half. Still think they're gonna last 50 games without him, Steve Philips? Goodness. ESPN should hire me as a baseball analyst.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Mother's Day
My dad and I took my lolas out to Mother's Day brunch. I thought it was delicious and I think they enjoyed the outing as well.
However, Mom was unable to join us because she was working. She works at the Intensive Care Unit at Sharp Hospital in Chula Vista, the same unit where I spent over two months being treated for a Lupus flare-up last year. My mom being a nurse there really made the recovery a lot easier. She knew the doctors and nurses (a lot of them being her long-time friends). She was active in how my treatment proceeded.
But for all the advantages her past experience brought, it also meant that it took an even harder toll on her. This is because as an ICU nurse, you understand all the medical jargon. You are always told to think of the worst that can happen to your patient. It's one thing to think the worst can happen to a patient, quite another to think that of your child.
When Mom came home tonight, she told me of the patient she was assigned to today. Her patient was a 20-year old girl with Lupus. The girl has been in the ICU since mid-April. The girl's mom had been asking to speak with my mom, apparently because the girl's mom was told of a nurse who had a son with Lupus. I'm sure my mom gave her some good advice.
My mom doesn't know I have a blog (I don't even think she knows what blogs are), so she'll never read this. Nevertheless, this one's for you, Mom.
However, Mom was unable to join us because she was working. She works at the Intensive Care Unit at Sharp Hospital in Chula Vista, the same unit where I spent over two months being treated for a Lupus flare-up last year. My mom being a nurse there really made the recovery a lot easier. She knew the doctors and nurses (a lot of them being her long-time friends). She was active in how my treatment proceeded.
But for all the advantages her past experience brought, it also meant that it took an even harder toll on her. This is because as an ICU nurse, you understand all the medical jargon. You are always told to think of the worst that can happen to your patient. It's one thing to think the worst can happen to a patient, quite another to think that of your child.
When Mom came home tonight, she told me of the patient she was assigned to today. Her patient was a 20-year old girl with Lupus. The girl has been in the ICU since mid-April. The girl's mom had been asking to speak with my mom, apparently because the girl's mom was told of a nurse who had a son with Lupus. I'm sure my mom gave her some good advice.
My mom doesn't know I have a blog (I don't even think she knows what blogs are), so she'll never read this. Nevertheless, this one's for you, Mom.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Baseball Rant
The first sport I became a fan of was baseball. For a variety of reasons, I've become less and less a fan. Perhaps what gets me the most about the game is that nowadays, the biggest story on ESPN is who's the newest player to be accused of using performing-enhancing drugs.
For those who don't watch sports news too often, LA Dodger Manny Ramirez was suspended for 50 games today for using hCG, a substance banned by Major League Baseball. At first, it didn't get to me that much, which is a testament to how accustomed I've become to these kind of stories.
But then I heard a few interviews from ESPN baseball analysts.
Tim Kurkjian said something about how players have been cheating in baseball since it's inception, then went on to say that fans really don't care, as long as they win. Um...well let me say it. I CARE.
Then, what really got me angry was the interview of Steve Phillips. He was asked where the Dodgers would be when Manny got back.
I'll try to paraphrase what Phillips said. He claimed that 'the Dodgers are too far in first place in the NL west division. They're a really good team. They'll hold on to that lead until Manny comes back in July, then go on to the playoffs with Manny leading them. It's a special year for the Dodgers.'
WTF
Yeah, they're in first place by a lot. But that's because they had Manny in the lineup. Manny is an RBI machine. And even when Manny's not doing well, teams have to always account for him. He gets on via walk because teams pitch around him. This leads to more runs. Think about it this way, take ANY team's best player away from a team, do they do as well? The Yankees are next to last in the AL east without A-Rod (who, btw also took performing-enhancing drugs), even with the highest paid team of any sport ever. Did the Patriots make the playoffs without Tom Brady? Would the Cavs be so good without Lebron James?
Plus, the reason they are so far in front in the NL west right now is because during the beginning and ending parts of the baseball season, teams play the majority of their games against teams within their division. That has made these games up until this point super important in the division standings. And now that the teams have finished those games and will play the majority of their games against teams outside the division, Manny gets suspended. If he was suspended to begin the season, I think the standings in the west might be different. But there's no way for us to know. Baseball, you're losing me as a fan.
Tim, I CARE. For now, at least.
Is it football season yet?
For those who don't watch sports news too often, LA Dodger Manny Ramirez was suspended for 50 games today for using hCG, a substance banned by Major League Baseball. At first, it didn't get to me that much, which is a testament to how accustomed I've become to these kind of stories.
But then I heard a few interviews from ESPN baseball analysts.
Tim Kurkjian said something about how players have been cheating in baseball since it's inception, then went on to say that fans really don't care, as long as they win. Um...well let me say it. I CARE.
Then, what really got me angry was the interview of Steve Phillips. He was asked where the Dodgers would be when Manny got back.
I'll try to paraphrase what Phillips said. He claimed that 'the Dodgers are too far in first place in the NL west division. They're a really good team. They'll hold on to that lead until Manny comes back in July, then go on to the playoffs with Manny leading them. It's a special year for the Dodgers.'
WTF
Yeah, they're in first place by a lot. But that's because they had Manny in the lineup. Manny is an RBI machine. And even when Manny's not doing well, teams have to always account for him. He gets on via walk because teams pitch around him. This leads to more runs. Think about it this way, take ANY team's best player away from a team, do they do as well? The Yankees are next to last in the AL east without A-Rod (who, btw also took performing-enhancing drugs), even with the highest paid team of any sport ever. Did the Patriots make the playoffs without Tom Brady? Would the Cavs be so good without Lebron James?
Plus, the reason they are so far in front in the NL west right now is because during the beginning and ending parts of the baseball season, teams play the majority of their games against teams within their division. That has made these games up until this point super important in the division standings. And now that the teams have finished those games and will play the majority of their games against teams outside the division, Manny gets suspended. If he was suspended to begin the season, I think the standings in the west might be different. But there's no way for us to know. Baseball, you're losing me as a fan.
Tim, I CARE. For now, at least.
Is it football season yet?
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Point of View
Today I had a doctor's appointment scheduled for 9:40am. I showed up kinda late (maybe 9:45) so I felt bad. But when I walked into the reception office, I saw that it was packed. I wondered why.
I stood in the appointment line and waited to check-in.
I got to the front and said, "I have an appointment with Dr. Duque."
The receptionist said, "Oh! Dr. Duque? Well he's not here today. He'll be out for two weeks. His wife just had a baby. Go wait in line over there, for his nurse, to see if you can be seen by another doctor, or reschedule."
Immediately I was pretty excited. Dr. Duque is super nice and I felt happy for him. But I realized that this was the reason for so many people in the waiting area. Dr. Duque's patients would have to be seen by other doctors at the clinic, doctors who probably had a full schedule already.
Waiting in the long line to talk to the nurse, I overheard other people's conversations with her. Angry statements like "I've been here for over an hour, and you just let in someone who just got here!" or "When will I be seen?!" or "I already took a day off work, and now I have to come back and miss work again?!"
I know I have a different point of view because my days are pretty free since I don't have work or school to go to. But even if I did, I don't think I would have reacted the way the other patients did. At least I hope wouldn't have. Do you really expect Dr. Duque to come in the day his wife goes into labor? Would you? And why take it out on the nurses? It's not like their day got any easier either.
I got to the front and the nurse greeted me with a smile, recognizing me. She scheduled me for exactly two weeks from today at 9:40am again. This time I'll be early rather than late. And I'll be sure to congratulate Dr. Duque.
I'm reminded every time I read Kitty's blog: "It's not too difficult to be nice."
I stood in the appointment line and waited to check-in.
I got to the front and said, "I have an appointment with Dr. Duque."
The receptionist said, "Oh! Dr. Duque? Well he's not here today. He'll be out for two weeks. His wife just had a baby. Go wait in line over there, for his nurse, to see if you can be seen by another doctor, or reschedule."
Immediately I was pretty excited. Dr. Duque is super nice and I felt happy for him. But I realized that this was the reason for so many people in the waiting area. Dr. Duque's patients would have to be seen by other doctors at the clinic, doctors who probably had a full schedule already.
Waiting in the long line to talk to the nurse, I overheard other people's conversations with her. Angry statements like "I've been here for over an hour, and you just let in someone who just got here!" or "When will I be seen?!" or "I already took a day off work, and now I have to come back and miss work again?!"
I know I have a different point of view because my days are pretty free since I don't have work or school to go to. But even if I did, I don't think I would have reacted the way the other patients did. At least I hope wouldn't have. Do you really expect Dr. Duque to come in the day his wife goes into labor? Would you? And why take it out on the nurses? It's not like their day got any easier either.
I got to the front and the nurse greeted me with a smile, recognizing me. She scheduled me for exactly two weeks from today at 9:40am again. This time I'll be early rather than late. And I'll be sure to congratulate Dr. Duque.
I'm reminded every time I read Kitty's blog: "It's not too difficult to be nice."
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