You Can Learn Something from a Bookmark

Yesterday at Borders I read a bookmark that said
"You have got to get up every morning with determination if you are going to go to bed with satisfaction."

I hadn't heard that specific adage. Is it really that easy? Can your mood be decided or changed by choice?

I don't have a definite answer. However earlier today I snapped at someone for no particular reason other than I was in an unfavorable disposition. I truly hate when this happens and immediately regret it.

For the past month I have been participating in a daily activity that has caused me to think a lot about myself and my actions. It just so happened that today this activity occurred right after I snapped. It helped me center myself and decide to atone for my actions, and now I feel much better. So maybe the adage is true.



A similar quote I have always liked:
"Begin each day like it was on purpose." - Hitch

Thank You Netflix Streaming

There's always something to watch. I find a season or entire series of a show and watch it whenever I have down time. I pause it if I need to do something, then I come back to it when I need another little break. In any room of the house pretty much. No pressure.

It's to the point where I almost feel burdened by regular TV. Even when I watch something on DVR, meaning I can skip the commercials, I don't have the same relaxed feeling I get when I watch something on streaming. Is it laziness? Perhaps. But maybe it's more because I can't watch the next episode right away if I want to.

It's been weeks, maybe months, since I've flipped through the channels to see what's on. I think it's just that I know pretty much the schedule of programming that I don't want to waste my time. I'll watch the shows I'm devoted to when they have a new episode (e.g. HIMYM), but other than that, it's Netflix all the way.

I Need This

This meaning This blog.

It's needed because it reminds me that no matter what my troubles or concerns are, this blog was there when I was going through worse. And it was there when people I cared about were going through worse. And it shows that things got better.

About an hour ago, I tried to help someone close to me who's having a difficult time.

I said:
"I believe in you
and if things don't turn out the best

just try and put it in perspective
and figure out your next move"

Then just a few minutes before starting this post I came to the realization that my personal adage for a while has been something like that, though I didn't know it:

"Prepare for the worst, but always believe in the best"

And that's when I remembered my blog.

I'm sorry smile. it's another day. I haven't abandoned you. I've just been on a hiatus.

To A Best Friend

Freshman year of college, I received a phone call early in the morning that woke me up. It was from my sister. Through a muffled, sobbing voice she told me of the passing of our grandfather. Since then, whenever I am roused late at night or early in the morning by a call or text, my heart skips a beat.

Thankfully, many nights my worries are dispelled. It usually is a fun text, a friendly reminder about something happening the next day, or a wrong number. Last night my wake up call was not one of these.

All day I have been thinking of the quote in the The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini.

"...there is only one sin, only one. And that is theft. Every other sin is a variation of theft...When you kill a man, you steal a life. You steal his wife's right to a husband, rob his children of a father. When you tell a lie, you steal someone's right to the truth. When you cheat, you steal the right to fairness."

More than a phone was stolen last night. The right to health and wellness was stolen. Sense of security and comfort was stolen. But hopefully one thing given can help: the awareness of being loved.

Feel better soon!

Continuation

For a few years, in many ways, my life has been at a standstill. I'm in the same place with nothing to add to my professional resume. Though I do not feel that this time has been wasted. I have learned much about myself. Learned my limits: physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Now though, things could change in a big way. It all depends on something that will be decided by a person or a group over 500 miles away. And it terrifies me. I turned in my application almost a month ago, but weeks of traveling distracted me. Two nights ago it took me hours to fall asleep. The anxiety of what the future could hold enveloped my thoughts.

But then yesterday I realized that the future will come and things will work out the way they're supposed to. So I decided to just enjoy the ride. Last night I was able to sleep without a problem.

Good Morning

Went to the doctor's today
As I was leaving I
Passed a security guard who
Looked tired but
Still smiled and
Said "Good morning"
I reciprocated this
Happy greeting with
A "Good morning"
In return of his
Then he asked pensively
"Is it still morning?".
A sure sign that
He's been patrolling since well
Before the sun came up

And yet he still smiles and says "Good morning"

Drive

All of us have it. It's called ambition. The call we hear inside to aspire to do and be something greater. The books I have been reading lately (e.g. The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown, Paulo Coelho novels, and The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch) center around a person's need for accomplishment. And it has got me to thinking.

What do I want to accomplish?
There's no best way to answer this, but I can say some overly general paths I want to walk towards.

I want...
1. to do something that will affect others in a positive way, to give them the drive for life that I feel. This is first and foremost.
2. to be able to say that I feel no hatred towards others. Though I may disagree with people and situations, I want to be in a state where I can at least be understanding. (This is inspired by A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson - which I'm still in the process of reading)
3. to take on tasks I see others take which I at first think is too much work or which intimidate me.
4. to continue to work at things I don't have an innate talent for but still enjoy doing.
5. to be a person that can be counted on.



Note: Many of these were reinforced by itsrichelle.