When the Stars Align

We are all headed on different pathways. Some are working. Some of us are going to school. Some of us us are single. Some of us are in relationships. Some of us are engaged, or are already married. Some of us live with family. Some of us live with friends. Some of us live alone.

Despite our diverging paths, we are sometimes able to reconnect. These are times in which I cherish. I spend many days home alone, with my parents leaving for work before I wake and getting home when my day is winding down. This means that there are days in which I have no human interaction at all. This is why times in which I can reconnect with people I care about are so important. It's a time for me to relax and smile. I dread the time coming to an end, and I look forward to when we can reconnect once more.

I'm lucky that the past few weeks I was able to spend meaningful time with great people, both during my Bay Area visit and here at home. It was the reconnection and release that I needed. I am so thankful for those times. I am more than happy with the my time spent, for the most part.

However, there were a few instances that almost ruined those experiences. Because of residual tension and awkwardness, getting together with different people or groups I wanted to get together with was complicated. It caused some to act stubborn and even childish. This really frustrated me and stressed me out. When the stars align and I can meet up with those I care about, I don't care what I do or where I go, as long as I am able to reconnect with those people. I hope others feel the same about reconnecting.

Please, let's try to leave the past in the past so that we can be a part of each other's future.

Adding on to the Baseball Rant

The Dodgers have lost 4 out of 5 without Manny Ramirez. Their NL West lead has been cut in half. Still think they're gonna last 50 games without him, Steve Philips? Goodness. ESPN should hire me as a baseball analyst.

Mother's Day

My dad and I took my lolas out to Mother's Day brunch. I thought it was delicious and I think they enjoyed the outing as well.

However, Mom was unable to join us because she was working. She works at the Intensive Care Unit at Sharp Hospital in Chula Vista, the same unit where I spent over two months being treated for a Lupus flare-up last year. My mom being a nurse there really made the recovery a lot easier. She knew the doctors and nurses (a lot of them being her long-time friends). She was active in how my treatment proceeded.

But for all the advantages her past experience brought, it also meant that it took an even harder toll on her. This is because as an ICU nurse, you understand all the medical jargon. You are always told to think of the worst that can happen to your patient. It's one thing to think the worst can happen to a patient, quite another to think that of your child.

When Mom came home tonight, she told me of the patient she was assigned to today. Her patient was a 20-year old girl with Lupus. The girl has been in the ICU since mid-April. The girl's mom had been asking to speak with my mom, apparently because the girl's mom was told of a nurse who had a son with Lupus. I'm sure my mom gave her some good advice.

My mom doesn't know I have a blog (I don't even think she knows what blogs are), so she'll never read this. Nevertheless, this one's for you, Mom.

Baseball Rant

The first sport I became a fan of was baseball. For a variety of reasons, I've become less and less a fan. Perhaps what gets me the most about the game is that nowadays, the biggest story on ESPN is who's the newest player to be accused of using performing-enhancing drugs.

For those who don't watch sports news too often, LA Dodger Manny Ramirez was suspended for 50 games today for using hCG, a substance banned by Major League Baseball. At first, it didn't get to me that much, which is a testament to how accustomed I've become to these kind of stories.

But then I heard a few interviews from ESPN baseball analysts.

Tim Kurkjian said something about how players have been cheating in baseball since it's inception, then went on to say that fans really don't care, as long as they win. Um...well let me say it. I CARE.

Then, what really got me angry was the interview of Steve Phillips. He was asked where the Dodgers would be when Manny got back.

I'll try to paraphrase what Phillips said. He claimed that 'the Dodgers are too far in first place in the NL west division. They're a really good team. They'll hold on to that lead until Manny comes back in July, then go on to the playoffs with Manny leading them. It's a special year for the Dodgers.'

WTF

Yeah, they're in first place by a lot. But that's because they had Manny in the lineup. Manny is an RBI machine. And even when Manny's not doing well, teams have to always account for him. He gets on via walk because teams pitch around him. This leads to more runs. Think about it this way, take ANY team's best player away from a team, do they do as well? The Yankees are next to last in the AL east without A-Rod (who, btw also took performing-enhancing drugs), even with the highest paid team of any sport ever. Did the Patriots make the playoffs without Tom Brady? Would the Cavs be so good without Lebron James?

Plus, the reason they are so far in front in the NL west right now is because during the beginning and ending parts of the baseball season, teams play the majority of their games against teams within their division. That has made these games up until this point super important in the division standings. And now that the teams have finished those games and will play the majority of their games against teams outside the division, Manny gets suspended. If he was suspended to begin the season, I think the standings in the west might be different. But there's no way for us to know. Baseball, you're losing me as a fan.

Tim, I CARE. For now, at least.

Is it football season yet?

Point of View

Today I had a doctor's appointment scheduled for 9:40am. I showed up kinda late (maybe 9:45) so I felt bad. But when I walked into the reception office, I saw that it was packed. I wondered why.

I stood in the appointment line and waited to check-in.

I got to the front and said, "I have an appointment with Dr. Duque."

The receptionist said, "Oh! Dr. Duque? Well he's not here today. He'll be out for two weeks. His wife just had a baby. Go wait in line over there, for his nurse, to see if you can be seen by another doctor, or reschedule."

Immediately I was pretty excited. Dr. Duque is super nice and I felt happy for him. But I realized that this was the reason for so many people in the waiting area. Dr. Duque's patients would have to be seen by other doctors at the clinic, doctors who probably had a full schedule already.

Waiting in the long line to talk to the nurse, I overheard other people's conversations with her. Angry statements like "I've been here for over an hour, and you just let in someone who just got here!" or "When will I be seen?!" or "I already took a day off work, and now I have to come back and miss work again?!"

I know I have a different point of view because my days are pretty free since I don't have work or school to go to. But even if I did, I don't think I would have reacted the way the other patients did. At least I hope wouldn't have. Do you really expect Dr. Duque to come in the day his wife goes into labor? Would you? And why take it out on the nurses? It's not like their day got any easier either.

I got to the front and the nurse greeted me with a smile, recognizing me. She scheduled me for exactly two weeks from today at 9:40am again. This time I'll be early rather than late. And I'll be sure to congratulate Dr. Duque.

I'm reminded every time I read Kitty's blog: "It's not too difficult to be nice."

If You Don't Use It, You Lose It 2

Once again I have found something that I was quite good at before that I can no longer do. Today it was the Rubik's cube.

All throughout college, I was able to solve the Rubik's cube in under 2 minutes. I solved it so many times that the stickers would rip off, so I would have to buy another one. I went through four Rubik's cubes during my time at Cal. I even taught some friends how to solve it.

Today I was hanging out with Phil and found Mikhael's Rubik's cube on his counter. While driving to pick up Shelley, I was able to do the top two rows easily, but I was completely unable to do the bottom. I tried to figure out but to no avail. So sad. Maybe a friend who I taught can teach it back to me? Please?

Hopefully I haven't lost anything else. :(

If You Don't Use It, You Lose It

This little phrase can apply to so many things. For me, today it applied to public speaking.

Madel and I dropped off JennThai at the briefing for the PASS so-cal outreachers. We had planned to just bring her there, and maybe say hi to the handful of the older outreachers who we knew.

Somehow we were placed at the beginning of the agenda for the briefing. Madel and I had to introduce ourselves, then provide advice to the thirty or so outreachers, most of whom had know idea who we were (other than the anecdotes they had been told by seniors and juniors: i.e. hella on a steep and the Puerto Nuevo outreach trip).

While at Cal, I had more than enough opportunities to perfect my oratory skills: Outreaches, running meetings, speeches at events, and more. It got to the point where I was absolutely comfortable getting up in front of a room of forty people or more, whether I knew them or not. Like I was speaking to an old friend.

However today at the outreach briefing, I bombed. I stuttered. I forgot my thoughts. I wasn't smiling. I was fidgety. It was a train wreck. I was totally embarrassed. I wanted a do-over.

I realize now that I haven't been in a setting like that since I graduated, almost two years ago. Being thrown into that situation, having to provide words of knowledge as a wise alum right on the spot, made it that much more difficult.

Sigh. Ah well. Just gotta try and smile about it I guess. Good luck outreachers! :D