To A Best Friend

Freshman year of college, I received a phone call early in the morning that woke me up. It was from my sister. Through a muffled, sobbing voice she told me of the passing of our grandfather. Since then, whenever I am roused late at night or early in the morning by a call or text, my heart skips a beat.

Thankfully, many nights my worries are dispelled. It usually is a fun text, a friendly reminder about something happening the next day, or a wrong number. Last night my wake up call was not one of these.

All day I have been thinking of the quote in the The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini.

"...there is only one sin, only one. And that is theft. Every other sin is a variation of theft...When you kill a man, you steal a life. You steal his wife's right to a husband, rob his children of a father. When you tell a lie, you steal someone's right to the truth. When you cheat, you steal the right to fairness."

More than a phone was stolen last night. The right to health and wellness was stolen. Sense of security and comfort was stolen. But hopefully one thing given can help: the awareness of being loved.

Feel better soon!

Continuation

For a few years, in many ways, my life has been at a standstill. I'm in the same place with nothing to add to my professional resume. Though I do not feel that this time has been wasted. I have learned much about myself. Learned my limits: physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Now though, things could change in a big way. It all depends on something that will be decided by a person or a group over 500 miles away. And it terrifies me. I turned in my application almost a month ago, but weeks of traveling distracted me. Two nights ago it took me hours to fall asleep. The anxiety of what the future could hold enveloped my thoughts.

But then yesterday I realized that the future will come and things will work out the way they're supposed to. So I decided to just enjoy the ride. Last night I was able to sleep without a problem.

Good Morning

Went to the doctor's today
As I was leaving I
Passed a security guard who
Looked tired but
Still smiled and
Said "Good morning"
I reciprocated this
Happy greeting with
A "Good morning"
In return of his
Then he asked pensively
"Is it still morning?".
A sure sign that
He's been patrolling since well
Before the sun came up

And yet he still smiles and says "Good morning"

Drive

All of us have it. It's called ambition. The call we hear inside to aspire to do and be something greater. The books I have been reading lately (e.g. The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown, Paulo Coelho novels, and The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch) center around a person's need for accomplishment. And it has got me to thinking.

What do I want to accomplish?
There's no best way to answer this, but I can say some overly general paths I want to walk towards.

I want...
1. to do something that will affect others in a positive way, to give them the drive for life that I feel. This is first and foremost.
2. to be able to say that I feel no hatred towards others. Though I may disagree with people and situations, I want to be in a state where I can at least be understanding. (This is inspired by A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson - which I'm still in the process of reading)
3. to take on tasks I see others take which I at first think is too much work or which intimidate me.
4. to continue to work at things I don't have an innate talent for but still enjoy doing.
5. to be a person that can be counted on.



Note: Many of these were reinforced by itsrichelle.